Sunday, July 12, 2009

How to Care For Your Monster (1970, Norman Bridwell)

I previously posted on Norman Bridwell's The Witches' Catalog. Here's another fun book by Bridwell that purports to be non-fiction... a guide for owning and caring for your own pet monster.

Only four types of monsters are covered here: Frankensteins, mummies, vampires and werewolves.

The author recommends shopping at your neighborhood monster store (they open after midnight).

A Frankenstein-type monster will feel right at home in a dark cellar. Rattle some chains to help make him comfortable.

If your parents are always complaining about noise, a nice quiet mummy is the pet for you.

You might find one by scrounging in the dumpster behind a museum.

Keep your mummy dry, and don't unwrap him!

Vampires are next, and this book offers a creative way to catch one.

Toss your hat up in the air when a bat flies by and the bat may fly into it. Put him in a cage, and by morning, he could turn into a vampire.

Vampires require a coffin for sleep.

You'll have to attend to his grooming needs as vampires are afraid of mirrors.

Finally there is the werewolf. The book warns against owning a werewolf unless you're reconciled to the fact that he'll only look like a monster on nights when the moon is full.

If your werewolf falls ill, the time of the month will dictate whether he goes to a doctor or the vet.

Keep a running tally of your friends in case your werewolf has eaten one.

Buy How To Care For Your Monster here.


Ormon Grimsby said...

Boy I can not tell you how much I have enjoyed looking through your entire blog tonight. Thank you for posting so many memories.
Ormon Grimsby

Brother Bill said...

Thanks for the kind words, Ormon!

Ormon Grimsby said...

I wonder if you have ever come across the children's book Lamont the Lonely Monster?
Had this one, that one, and the Ormsby book as a kid too.
Another good one is the Father and Son wood working Project book from that same period. They had all sorts of cool clubhouses, boats, play weapons, and forts any kid would kill for and could never ever make but they were great designs.
Can you imagine, how surreal now, you could order books in your classroom at school every week for a couple of bucks.

Brother Bill said...

Ormon, haven't seen the other books you mentioned, but you'll be glad to know the Scholastic Book Club program (which lets school children order discounted books that are shipped directly to their classroom) is alive and well.


Oh man!
I had this book and I read it to pieces. Seeing the art style and the monsters (esp the pretty darn helpless looking mummies) brought a tear of nostalgia to my eye.

As always a great blog.

Toon said...

This was a series of books, wasn't it? My memory is hazy, but I'm almost sure I had more than one of them. Thank you so much for this article...I'd always thought it was something like "Monster Pets" and that Google search didn't work out at all. I love this blog!

Sam G said...

Man...I LOVED this book when I was a kid. I so wanted a Monster store in my town. I ought to look this up on ebay.
Love. This. Blog.

Chris said...

Ha Ha! I had this book when I was a kid. Gave it to my nieces and they would giggle when we read it together. Thanks for the memories!

Lance Ash said...

I had occasionally wondered about this book over the years. A woman who babysat me once in a while around 1976 or so had this book in her house. I had no idea Norman Bridwell wrote it. Anyway, thanks for posting this.