Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label videogames. Show all posts

Sunday, March 26, 2017

*Hyperspace Used, a.k.a. The Great Father/Son Vectrex Minestorm Rivalry of 1985

Videogames were an important facet of my life back in the early 1980s (I was in grade school), and between my network of friends, I had access to all the major home systems of the day. Friend #1 had the Atari 2600 (1977), the old, reliable workhorse, a system so popular and ubiquitous that its joystick controller became a de facto symbol of the gaming industry itself.

Friend #2 had the Odyssey 2 (Magnavox, 1978), an oddball system with full-Qwerty membrane keyboard that made it superficially resemble a personal computer. Considered a lesser system due to its inferior graphics and sound (every game seemed to emit the exact same set of bleeps and bloops), it had a few notable system-specific titles such as K.C. Munchkin, a Pac-Man knock-off that was more fun than any other dot-eating maze game available on cart at the time, and Quest For The Rings, a board-game/videogame hybrid that required two players to cooperate as a team in a multi-level dungeon crawl.

Friend #3 had the newish Colecovision (1982), which had superior graphics and licensed arcade hits like Zaxxon and Donkey Kong, as well as titles built around popular pop-culture characters like Rocky Balboa, Buck Rogers and The Smurfs.

And finally, I had the Intellivision (Mattel, 1979), viewed as the more sophisticated machine, since its name was a portmanteau of "Intelligent" and "Television". Apparently, your time spent mindlessly zapping flying saucers on the Intellivision was actually an enriching intellectual exercise.

One glaring omission from my circle-of-friends system-collective was dark horse Vectrex, by Milton Bradley. Introduced in 1982 and retailing at $199,Vectrex stood unique from the other systems because it was a portable machine, and rather than hook it up to your television, had its own built-in vector-scan display.

Vector graphics were composed of rays of light that traced lines between points, rather than a bit-mapped grid of blocks. Some vector-graphics arcade games of note were Asteroids, Tempest, Battlezone and the original arcade Star Wars. The bright, clear lines of the display, similar in brilliance to those you might see on an oscilloscope screen, were very striking and had a definite futuristic science-fiction aesthetic. No other system before or since offered this unique display type (and modern arcade emulations can't quite capture the effect).

I spent enough hands-on time with the Vectrex at in-store kiosks to decide I definitely would welcome this little machine to my home, if not for the two-hundred dollar price tag (as well as the disapproval from my parents, who felt it was something akin to betrayal to add a new cartridge-slot to feed when we already had a perfectly good system at home.)

Unfortunately the Vectrex may have been too unique for its own good, as the system floundered commercially and was discontinued in 1984, with less than 30 games ever released (Atari 2600, by comparison, had hundreds of titles.) Even unique add-on peripherals like active-shutter 3D goggles and a light-pen were not enough to save the system from consumer disinterest. Vectrex systems were soon sitting on toy store clearance racks, priced at $49. This was my chance to finally grab one!

Even these genuinely cool hardware peripherals couldn't save the system.

After several months of saving every penny I could get my hands on (fifty bucks was a lot of money to a grade-schooler in 1984) I finally scrounged together enough to buy the discounted system, but with no money left over for cartridges.

That's okay, though, because Vectrex came with one built-in game, and it was, as the kids say today, a killer app. Minestorm was basically Asteroids on steroids (A-Steroids?) You piloted a space ship using rotate-left/right, thrust and "hyperspace" controls, shooting floating space "mines", which sometimes shot back or followed you around the screen.

So it was Asteroids, leveled-up.

Magazine ad for Vectrex highlighted the free pack-in game Minestorm
and a very, very excited family.

The Minestorm instruction manual included a few pages to document high scores, and I started logging my steadily increasing achievements (although I never bothered recording the date when the scores were achieved.)

Today, the score record stands as an amusing account of father/son one-upmanship.

Dad, you see, was a bit of a videogamer too, and he gravitated towards the games with a simple controller layout (the joystick-only Frogger was his arcade favorite.) Initially against the Vectrex purchase (our loyal Intellivision may get jealous, was perhaps his thinking) he soon warmed up to this latest addition to the family and was adding his own personal-best Minestorm scores to the list, although with his scores barely halving mine, I was in no immediate danger of being overtaken.

I mentioned my Dad's preference for uncomplicated controls... he could handle the ship rotation (joystick controlled), fire and thrust buttons that Minestorm required, but lacked the dexterity to include the third "hyperspace" button (the manual calls it "Escape") in his repertoire. The rare occasions he tried using the feature always ended in disaster, since he had to divert his eyes from the screen to visually locate the evasive third button on the controller before finally navigating his finger to it, always seconds too late.

Consequently, my Dad made it a point of pride that HIS scores were achieved without using the hyperspace feature, as if this was some kind of lesser, unsportsmanlike tactic. Much like professional athletes who hold records qualified with an asterisk to denote some questionable circumstance associated with the achievement, to my Dad, my scores all bore the scarlet H... "*Hyperspace Used."

On one particularly good run, I managed to nearly triple my previous high score, achieving a then-impressive 166,958 points.

This must have lit a fire in Dad's belly, because what follows is a streak of steadily increasing scores as he chased my new record, finally topping it on 5/15/1985 (at least three months after my entry), with a score of 171,105. And Dad did not rest on his laurels, either, pushing himself harder and higher, eventually landing an unprecedented score of 218,090 two months later (7/11/1985)!

Dad, basking in high-score glory, was simply too much for my pre-teen ego to bear. Enough was, decidedly, enough.

After having semi-retired from the Minestorm scene, I quietly returned to the playfield for the sole purpose of reasserting my superior skills, and in a move worthy of videogame record-holding villain Billy Mitchell (King of Kong:A Fistful of Quarters), proceeded to rack up a previously unheard of score of 681,070, tripling-and-then-some my Dad's once proud record, and noting the achievement in the official record book with a little triple-underlined, exclamation-pointed self-aggrandizing smugness ("Bill Super Star!")

Lest there be any doubt who was currently on top...


"But you used Hyperspace!" father despaired, as his hard-won scores were dumped into the ash-bin of history...

Don't feel too bad for Dad, though. As the years rolled along and my interest in Minestorm waned (this ended up being my last recorded score), he perfected his game, eventually besting my historic achievement with an impressive 954,819 ("11/8/85 Dad New Champ!"), then nearly doubling that years later (5/4/1987, 1,906,735).

At this point, Dad was no longer competing against me--but against himself. He was on a long, personal journey of discovery.

...a journey made longer, perhaps, by not using hyperspace.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

That's So Fake!

I've always found made-up videogames, invented solely to inhabit non-existent arcades in fictional stories told on the big screen, to be an intriguing bit of set dressing. Wouldn't it be wild if some computer programmer actually MADE a playable version of one of those fake games? Having personally played a round of Space Paranoids at Disney California Adventure, I can confirm that its happened at least once.

Below are nineteen screen caps from various fictional videogames created specifically for movies or television (plus I threw one wild weenie in there that kind of breaks the rules just to keep you on your toes). Can you name not only the movie/show the game appears in, but the name of the fictional game itself?

Answers will be posted in the comments.

Surprisingly (*cough* notsomuch *cough*) I'm not the first person to write on this topic (the internet is crawling with fictional videogame lists), but I was able to sneak in a few overlooked titles.

A great video from WatchMojo (which I used to source a few elusive screen caps) is embedded at the very bottom (...but watch it AFTER trying to name the screens, big cheater!)

Screen 1

Screen 2

Screen 3

Screen 4

Screen 5

Screen 6

Screen 7

Screen 8

Screen 9

Screen 10

Screen 11

Screen 12

Screen 13

Screen 14

Screen 15

Screen 16

Screen 17

Screen 18

Screen 19



SPOILER VIDEO!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Hard Time at Disneyland

No, I'm not talking about the Pressler Era (ta-dum-dum. heyyyy-oh!)

I'm talking about Hard Time On Planet Earth, a short-lived science fiction TV show from Touchstone Television that lasted only 13 episodes.


The year is 1989. An alien warrior from another galaxy is found guilty of fomenting rebellion and sentenced to serve time on a primitive planet called Earth. He'll trade his normally robot-like appearance for a human disguise that looks a lot like the square-jawed, muscular Martin Kove (Death Race 2000, The Karate Kid).

Joining "Jesse" (that's the Earth name Kove's character adopts) throughout his sentence is "Control", a floating football-shaped robot whose voice resembles Paul Reuben's Star Tours navigator RX-24 (the actual voice actor is Danny Mann, and he may very well be the first CGI character on television.)


Control acts as Jesse's guide and companion while Jesse serves out his term, learning the ways of Earth's strange inhabitants... and just maybe a lesson or two along the way? Control also comes with an annoying catch-phrase: "Negative outcome. Not good." which he'll deliver repeatedly throughout the show as a dead-pan, hilariously understated observation.

We're going to need a lot of these, right? This catch-phrase is gonna be HUGE.

In episode 3, "Losing Control", Jesse and Control visit an "important center of rejuvenation" that "reverses the human aging process"... Disneyland. The whole episode amounts to a barely veiled advertisement for the park (exploiting television in this way was a Disney tradition going all the way back to 1954!)


Jesse and Control first enter Disneyland and encounter the clockwork and calliope installation that was part of a "35 Years of Magic" celebration in anticipation of the park's 35th anniversary the following year.


Over the opening credits, we are treated to flyover views of Fantasyland accompanied by synthesized, electronic renditions of "It's A Small World" and "When You Wish Upon a Star" that sound like cover versions you might expect to hear broadcast on the Star Tours radio station, K-DROID.


The gravity-defying Control briefly ducks into a garbage can to avoid attracting too much attention...


...and in a moment that somehow got past Disney's lawyers, describes a guest's half-eaten hamburger as "minced bovine carcass and vegetation immersed in hydrogulated fat and heat", then quips "These humans will eat anything!" Now THAT'S corporate synergy!


After noticing the Mickey Mouse balloons, Jesse suggests Control hover above him in a similar fashion as a disguise.


We ride the Skyway buckets, pass the original Star Tours, and the Rocket Jets...

...then Control splits off to explore on his own, getting an up-close look at a hippo from the Jungle Cruise.


Something resembling the early stages of a plot starts to develop, threatening to interrupt our Disneyland showcase, by way of a child ("Johnathan") telling his parents he wants to see "Captain EO and the Crystal Arcade". The Crystal Arcade? Mmm-kay. (This is actually foreshadowing, as later plot machinations require there to be a video arcade along the Main Street parade route, but we'll get to that in a bit.) The Peoplemover is visible in the background.


The interior of the Crystal Arcade on Main Street strangely resembles the much larger Starcade in Tomorrowland (they swapped out the interior in service of those pesky plot machinations I mentioned earlier). Johnathan plays the moving-cockpit version of Sega's Afterburner...


...while nearby we find Blasteroids, Pac-Man, and a Star Wars machine whose marque had to be partially obscured since its an intellectual property that Disney doesn't own the rights to.... for now.


Control finds his way into the Crystal Arcade/Starcade and is somehow able to play the games wirelessly by projecting lasers. He takes on the game grid of Tron first...


...before playing a row of machines all at once for a greater challenge.


The exertion of videogaming not only causes the entire arcade to blackout, but completely drains Control of his energy, who drops lifelessly to the floor, where Johnathan mistakes him for a free souvenir. Jesse witnesses this from his Peoplemover cabin as it passes through the upper level of the arcade.


Jesse needs to get Control back from that kid. Cue Chase Sequence #1! Jesse bolts out of the Peoplemover, featuring the World of Tron...


...and follows Johnathan and family onto Big Thunder Mountain, bypassing the line by leaping the fence, scaling the rocks and dropping right into the moving train from above!


The chase continues across the greens of the not quite open Splash Mountain (it would debut a few months later, in July '89) before Jesse is stopped by Disneyland security...


...and invited to take a walk through Disney's California Adventure Version zero-point-oh (i.e. The Parking Lot.)


So...

...about 20 minutes of plot occurs not relating to Disneyland, in which Chase Sequences #2-4 happen, before our hero is given an excuse to return for a night visit... because you haven't REALLY seen Disneyland until you've seen it at night!


Plus, for Summer nighttime entertainment, you can't beat The Main Street Electrical Parade. Jesse who?


The plot conceit that brings Jesse back to the park is that he has recovered the still defective Control and believes he must return to the Crystal Arcade to rejuvenate him. Alas, the arcade is still closed from the earlier damage...


...leaving Jesse with no choice but to recharge him with a broken electrical main cable he finds lying on the ground somewhere near Coke Corner. While reviving, Control begins to sing the lyrics to "It's a Small World" in a slow, mechanical drone that resembles HAL 9000's dying swan song. Nothing creepy about that.