Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Beautiful Ruins: Sifting Through the Wreckage of Thundarr the Barbarian (1980)


When Thundarr the Barbarian finally made landfall on the shores of the 1980 Saturday morning cartoon lineup, the accompanying shockwave upturned the nation's cereal bowls.

Thundarr the Barbarian was the glorious mash-up of Robert E. Howard's Conan (hey, the word "Barbarian" is right in the title!), classic 60's Hanna-Barbara sci-fi adventure fare (Space Ghost, The Herculoids, Birdman, etc.), Star Wars (don't dare call Thundarr's "fabulous Sun-sword" a light-saber) and Planet of the Apes/Damnation Alley (or whatever scorched-Earth post-apocalypse title works for you) that I didn't realize I was waiting all my life for.

A Ruby-Spears production, Thundarr the Barbarian was the fortunate son of three Dads who could definitely beat up your Dad: writer Steve Gerber (Howard the Duck, Man-Thing), and legendary comic book/animation artists Jack Kirby and Alex Toth (a collective legacy too rich to enumerate here).

Thundarr's back-story, told in the quickly edited opening sequence, is merely the destruction of modern civilization as we know it, a global catastrophe of massive tidal waves, volcanoes, and earthquakes caused by a close call with a runaway planet in the too-far-away-to-fathom year of 1994. Fast-forward two-thousand years later, and life on Earth has become an anachronistic hodgepodge of Medieval barbarity, futuristic technology, and mutated life forms resembling mythic monsters, extra-terrestrial aliens, and everything in between.
Episodes would often start in media res, right in the middle of an action sequence whose beginning we never saw, and could feature anything from pirates to robots, wizards, werewolves, giant insects, helicopters or hover boards.

Thundarr was an unapologetic fighter, eager to slice first, ask questions later (...or never). After one particularly impressive demonstration of swordplay protecting a village from flying monsters, a gawking villager asks, "What kind of man are you?"

"Free!" Thundarr barks in reply.

Is it okay to swoon now?

His traveling companions are Ariel, a self-sufficient magic-wielding Princess (princess of what, we're never really sure) who acts as Thundarr's guide (she's learned about the ways of "old Earth" from her father's library) and Ookla the Mok, a tall, growling lion-man, clearly modeled after Chewbacca, who provides both muscle and the occasional comic relief.

But these were dramatic adventure stories, not comedies, a refreshing dose of seriousness when so many cartoons of the day relied on gags and canned laughter.

That these adventures of "savagery, super-science and sorcery" play out across the wreckage of "old Earth", often in the shadow of real-world landmarks, adds a layer of poignancy, a constant, bitter reminder that the world we know has ended in tragedy.

Below are selected images of the beautiful ruin that is old Earth.

New York ("the ruin of Man-Hat") from S1E1, Secret of the Black Pearl.
Space shuttle carcass at a ruined NASA Space Center, S1E3 Mindok the Mind Menace. This episode predates the first space shuttle launch by almost six months.
Empty streets and a crashed ocean liner from S1E4 Raiders of the Abyss.
WWII-era plane and hangar, S1E5 Treasure of the Moks.
The remnants of Mt. Rushmore, S1E6 Attack of the Amazon Women.
The Capitol Building, a fallen Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian Institute, the U.S. Supreme Court Building, and the White House. From S1E7 The Brotherhood of Night.
Fremont Street, downtown Las Vegas. S1E8 Challenge of the Wizards.
This is not an actual castle, but a crumbling movie set on a studio backlot in Hollywood. S1E9 Valley of the Man-Apes.
An old church covered in snow. S1E10 Stalker from the Stars.
An amusement park from the same episode.
The Alamo, San Antonio, Texas. S1E11 Portal Into Time.
Chinatown, San Francisco. S1E12 Battle of the Barbarians.
Artifacts from the old world, embedded in rock. S1E13 Den of the Sleeping Demon.
Abandoned hospital and operating theater, from the same episode
Skeleton of a swingset.
The remnants of the St. Louis Arch, Missouri, from S2E1 Wizard War.
Corpse of a Hyundai. S2E2 Fortress of Fear.
All the time in the world. Big Ben, London. S2E3 Island of the Body Snatchers.
Two freeway exits and Logan Airport, Boston. S2E4 City of Evil.
Abandoned zoo. S205 Last Train to Doomsday.
Beverly Hills, California. S2E6 Master of the Stolen Sunsword.
Eternal Pasture Cemetery, Hollywood, CA. S2E6.
Hollywood sign. S2E6.
Hollywood Magic Palace, S2E6.
Los Angeles parking garage and poolside wreck. S2E6.
Griffith Observatory, Los Angeles. S2E6.
Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia. S2E7 Trial by Terror.


...
The backgrounds weren't all doom and gloom. Sometimes the animators would slip in pop-culture references or in-jokes (in one episode you can just make out a sign for "Westwind Steak House Restaurant"... Westwind was the name of the studio that handled production layout for the show).

Here's a Jaws sequel reference (S1E1) that predates the one in Back to the Future II by almost a decade:

A reference to the forthcoming Star Wars sequel, still titled "Revenge of the Jedi" when this episode aired in November 1980, and another Jaws reference, from S1E5:

Thundarr the Barbarian can be purchased on a 4-DVD set as a Warner Archives Collection MOD release.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

*Hyperspace Used, a.k.a. The Great Father/Son Vectrex Minestorm Rivalry of 1985

Videogames were an important facet of my life back in the early 1980s (I was in grade school), and between my network of friends, I had access to all the major home systems of the day. Friend #1 had the Atari 2600 (1977), the old, reliable workhorse, a system so popular and ubiquitous that its joystick controller became a de facto symbol of the gaming industry itself.

Friend #2 had the Odyssey 2 (Magnavox, 1978), an oddball system with full-Qwerty membrane keyboard that made it superficially resemble a personal computer. Considered a lesser system due to its inferior graphics and sound (every game seemed to emit the exact same set of bleeps and bloops), it had a few notable system-specific titles such as K.C. Munchkin, a Pac-Man knock-off that was more fun than any other dot-eating maze game available on cart at the time, and Quest For The Rings, a board-game/videogame hybrid that required two players to cooperate as a team in a multi-level dungeon crawl.

Friend #3 had the newish Colecovision (1982), which had superior graphics and licensed arcade hits like Zaxxon and Donkey Kong, as well as titles built around popular pop-culture characters like Rocky Balboa, Buck Rogers and The Smurfs.

And finally, I had the Intellivision (Mattel, 1979), viewed as the more sophisticated machine, since its name was a portmanteau of "Intelligent" and "Television". Apparently, your time spent mindlessly zapping flying saucers on the Intellivision was actually an enriching intellectual exercise.

One glaring omission from my circle-of-friends system-collective was dark horse Vectrex, by Milton Bradley. Introduced in 1982 and retailing at $199,Vectrex stood unique from the other systems because it was a portable machine, and rather than hook it up to your television, had its own built-in vector-scan display.

Vector graphics were composed of rays of light that traced lines between points, rather than a bit-mapped grid of blocks. Some vector-graphics arcade games of note were Asteroids, Tempest, Battlezone and the original arcade Star Wars. The bright, clear lines of the display, similar in brilliance to those you might see on an oscilloscope screen, were very striking and had a definite futuristic science-fiction aesthetic. No other system before or since offered this unique display type (and modern arcade emulations can't quite capture the effect).

I spent enough hands-on time with the Vectrex at in-store kiosks to decide I definitely would welcome this little machine to my home, if not for the two-hundred dollar price tag (as well as the disapproval from my parents, who felt it was something akin to betrayal to add a new cartridge-slot to feed when we already had a perfectly good system at home.)

Unfortunately the Vectrex may have been too unique for its own good, as the system floundered commercially and was discontinued in 1984, with less than 30 games ever released (Atari 2600, by comparison, had hundreds of titles.) Even unique add-on peripherals like active-shutter 3D goggles and a light-pen were not enough to save the system from consumer disinterest. Vectrex systems were soon sitting on toy store clearance racks, priced at $49. This was my chance to finally grab one!

Even these genuinely cool hardware peripherals couldn't save the system.

After several months of saving every penny I could get my hands on (fifty bucks was a lot of money to a grade-schooler in 1984) I finally scrounged together enough to buy the discounted system, but with no money left over for cartridges.

That's okay, though, because Vectrex came with one built-in game, and it was, as the kids say today, a killer app. Minestorm was basically Asteroids on steroids (A-Steroids?) You piloted a space ship using rotate-left/right, thrust and "hyperspace" controls, shooting floating space "mines", which sometimes shot back or followed you around the screen.

So it was Asteroids, leveled-up.

Magazine ad for Vectrex highlighted the free pack-in game Minestorm
and a very, very excited family.

The Minestorm instruction manual included a few pages to document high scores, and I started logging my steadily increasing achievements (although I never bothered recording the date when the scores were achieved.)

Today, the score record stands as an amusing account of father/son one-upmanship.

Dad, you see, was a bit of a videogamer too, and he gravitated towards the games with a simple controller layout (the joystick-only Frogger was his arcade favorite.) Initially against the Vectrex purchase (our loyal Intellivision may get jealous, was perhaps his thinking) he soon warmed up to this latest addition to the family and was adding his own personal-best Minestorm scores to the list, although with his scores barely halving mine, I was in no immediate danger of being overtaken.

I mentioned my Dad's preference for uncomplicated controls... he could handle the ship rotation (joystick controlled), fire and thrust buttons that Minestorm required, but lacked the dexterity to include the third "hyperspace" button (the manual calls it "Escape") in his repertoire. The rare occasions he tried using the feature always ended in disaster, since he had to divert his eyes from the screen to visually locate the evasive third button on the controller before finally navigating his finger to it, always seconds too late.

Consequently, my Dad made it a point of pride that HIS scores were achieved without using the hyperspace feature, as if this was some kind of lesser, unsportsmanlike tactic. Much like professional athletes who hold records qualified with an asterisk to denote some questionable circumstance associated with the achievement, to my Dad, my scores all bore the scarlet H... "*Hyperspace Used."

On one particularly good run, I managed to nearly triple my previous high score, achieving a then-impressive 166,958 points.

This must have lit a fire in Dad's belly, because what follows is a streak of steadily increasing scores as he chased my new record, finally topping it on 5/15/1985 (at least three months after my entry), with a score of 171,105. And Dad did not rest on his laurels, either, pushing himself harder and higher, eventually landing an unprecedented score of 218,090 two months later (7/11/1985)!

Dad, basking in high-score glory, was simply too much for my pre-teen ego to bear. Enough was, decidedly, enough.

After having semi-retired from the Minestorm scene, I quietly returned to the playfield for the sole purpose of reasserting my superior skills, and in a move worthy of videogame record-holding villain Billy Mitchell (King of Kong:A Fistful of Quarters), proceeded to rack up a previously unheard of score of 681,070, tripling-and-then-some my Dad's once proud record, and noting the achievement in the official record book with a little triple-underlined, exclamation-pointed self-aggrandizing smugness ("Bill Super Star!")

Lest there be any doubt who was currently on top...


"But you used Hyperspace!" father despaired, as his hard-won scores were dumped into the ash-bin of history...

Don't feel too bad for Dad, though. As the years rolled along and my interest in Minestorm waned (this ended up being my last recorded score), he perfected his game, eventually besting my historic achievement with an impressive 954,819 ("11/8/85 Dad New Champ!"), then nearly doubling that years later (5/4/1987, 1,906,735).

At this point, Dad was no longer competing against me--but against himself. He was on a long, personal journey of discovery.

...a journey made longer, perhaps, by not using hyperspace.