Snowbeast (1977)

Snowbeast (1977) is a made-for-TV turkey in which hunky ski-lodge manager Tony Rill (Robert Logan), his old friend and former Olympic ski pro Gar Seberg (Bo Svenson) and wife Ellen (a silver-haired Yvette Mimieux, nearly unrecognizable from her memorable appearance as Weena in The Time Machine, 17 years earlier) take on a murderous snow yeti that's threatening to derail the annual winter carnival.

Even though it's written by Outer Limits alumni Joseph Stefano (who happened to have penned my favorite episode of that brilliant series, The Forms of Things Unknown), it's an utterly forgettable film, which makes me wonder why I still remember it after happening upon it some Saturday morning in the late 70s (no doubt broadcast on the local monster matinee show, KPHO's The World Beyond).

The yeti itself doesn't look too bad, for what you see of it, but Snowbeast's most notable aspect is its almost embarrassing resemblance to a film that came out a few years earlier and enjoyed some popularity... a little sleeper hit called Jaws. Snowbeast hits more than a few notes that will resonate with Jaws fans.

Jaws: Opens with a tourist, or "summer girl", getting killed by an unseen monster while swimming alone.

Snowbeast: Opens with a winter girl getting killed by an unseen monster while skiing alone.

Jaws: The authorities investigating the disappearance of the first victim find only partial remains, the audience seeing only a bloody arm lying on the beach.

Snowbeast: The authorities investigating the disappearance of the first victim find only partial remains, a bloody arm lying in the snow.

Jaws: The figure of authority at the beach, Mayor Larry Vaughn, denies the seriousness of the situation, so as not to cause a panic before the town's Fourth of July festivities.

Snowbeast: The figure of authority at the ski lodge, owner Carrie Rill, denies the seriousness of the situation so as not to cause a panic before the lodge's Winter Carnival.

Jaws: Fishermen catch a shark, mistakenly thinking its the one that has been doing all the killing. Protagonists Matt Hooper and Martin Brody, confident the wrong shark has been caught, want to cut it open and examine its stomach, but are denied permission.

Snowbeast: Local authorities shoot a bear, mistakenly thinking it responsible for the killings. Protagonists Gar and Ellen Seberg, confident the wrong animal has been killed, want to cut it open and examine its stomach, but are denied permission.

Jaws: The killer shark disrupts the Fourth of July celebration, causing a panic on the beach in which children and old people are stampeded.

Snowbeast: The killer yeti disrupts the Winter Carnival celebration, causing a panic in the lodge in which children and old people are stampeded.

Jaws: Determined to kill the shark, our three leads head out in a small boat to its territory, hoping to lure it out of hiding. The shark eventually severely damages the boat, stranding them.

Snowbeast: Determined to kill the yeti, our three leads head out in a small RV to its territory, hoping to lure it out of hiding. The yeti eventually severely damages the RV, stranding them.

Jaws: Forced to work around a temperamental mechanical shark that didn't often perform as expected, director Steven Spielberg used skillfully staged POV shots to imply the presence of the shark without having to actually show it.

Snowbeast: Forced to work around a mediocre yeti costume that apparently wouldn't hold up to close scrutiny, director Herb Wallerstein used POV shots to imply the presence of the yeti without having to actually show it. HOWEVER... unlike in Jaws, Snowbeast relies so heavily on these shaky-cam POV shots, you start to wonder if the yeti costume got lost in mid-production.


Here are some more fondly remembered snowbeasts...

Woman Bites Head Off Snake! (Stanley, 1972)

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I thought I'd share one (silly and frivolous) thing I can be thankful for this year, which is having finally tracked down the source of the above image of a woman biting the head off a live snake, an image that has haunted me since I first happened upon it on television one Saturday morning, at least 30 years ago.

I've made a little side-hobby out of tracking down pop-cultural artifacts (books, TV shows and movies) that made an impact on me as a child, either overtly or subliminally...often of the spooky variety. (Meanwhile the excellent site Kindertrauma has turned that same search into a full-blown philanthropic movement.)

While I've been fairly successfully in tracking down even the most obscure specimens (the haunted house oral hygiene film The Haunted Mouth and spooky anthology book Monster Tales, for starters) I had no luck identifying the film pictured above, in which an exotic snake dancer, under pressure from her manager to spice up the act, adds the gruesome climax.

But I finally stumbled on the film this month, through pure dumb luck, when it popped up on a five dollar bargain-bin DVD collection titled Gorehouse Greats. It's Stanley (1972).

The title, Stanley, doesn't exactly scream "snakes!" the way titles like Sssss or Rattlers do, which was part of the problem in tracking this film down. Stanley is the pet rattlesnake of Tim (Chris Robinson), a Native American Vietnam vet who just wants to live at peace with nature and it's crawling inhabitants. There's Tim now.

Tim lives in a shack at the edge of a swamp, respecting all of nature's creatures while plying his trade: capturing and milking poisonous snakes to make anti-venom. Tim takes his work home with him... literally. His house is crawling with snakes that he lets slither around freely. He even lets Stanley and it's... uh, "wife", Hazel, sit at the dinner table with him. Mouse under glass... bon appetit!

But Tim's little Eden is threatened by a comical villian, Thomkins (Alex Rocco), who not only hunts animals for their skins to make cool clothing and accessories (see vest and hatband, below) but had years earlier caused the death of Tim's father in a suspicious hunting accident.

In addition to selling venom to hospitals, Tim also provides snakes to Gloria, the snake dancer at a seedy lounge, "The Climax".

And this is where I wandered into the picture one Saturday morning (likely broadcast on the local monster-movie show, KPHO's The World Beyond). To fully appreciate the extent of the trauma inflicted on my grade school brain, you have to understand that prior to seeing this scene, the very idea that people might hurt, torture or kill animals for entertainment was completely alien to me.

At this point in my young life, I had never heard of a carnival geek (the sideshow attraction in which a person bites off a chicken's head), and thought a matador's sword was just for self-defense in case the bull got too ornery.

Now I was being confronted with an uglier side of humanity that I hadn't imagined.

The audience, a mixture of men and women, young and old, are a collage of eagerness, trepidation, and apathy. They are all guilty conspirators.

I always remembered the actual head-biting occurring in silhouette, but as you'll see, this was not the case. Perhaps some psychological defense mechanism manufactured that memory.

The act completed, with bloody evidence. I'd lost a little innocence that day.

Witnessing this atrocity along with me was Tim, who immediately switches from capturing poisonous snakes to distributing them to snake-dancers' beds.

He also makes a delivery to Alex Rocco's swimming pool.

So having finally reunited with Stanley after so many years, do I recommend the film? Well, unless you need to exorcise the image of a snake dancer with a bloody chin from your subconcious.... no! It's a poorly acted, ludicriously plotted mess that gains a few points for use of actual snakes, but then loses those points with scenes depicting actual (not simulated) animal cruelty, in which living snakes are swung, crushed or shot.

But at least I'll never have to type "Woman Bites Head Off Snake" into a search engine ever again!