Snowbeast (1977)

Snowbeast (1977) is a made-for-TV turkey in which hunky ski-lodge manager Tony Rill (Robert Logan), his old friend and former Olympic ski pro Gar Seberg (Bo Svenson) and wife Ellen (a silver-haired Yvette Mimieux, nearly unrecognizable from her memorable appearance as Weena in The Time Machine, 17 years earlier) take on a murderous snow yeti that's threatening to derail the annual winter carnival.

Even though it's written by Outer Limits alumni Joseph Stefano (who happened to have penned my favorite episode of that brilliant series, The Forms of Things Unknown), it's an utterly forgettable film, which makes me wonder why I still remember it after happening upon it some Saturday morning in the late 70s (no doubt broadcast on the local monster matinee show, KPHO's The World Beyond).

The yeti itself doesn't look too bad, for what you see of it, but Snowbeast's most notable aspect is its almost embarrassing resemblance to a film that came out a few years earlier and enjoyed some popularity... a little sleeper hit called Jaws. Snowbeast hits more than a few notes that will resonate with Jaws fans.

Jaws: Opens with a tourist, or "summer girl", getting killed by an unseen monster while swimming alone.

Snowbeast: Opens with a winter girl getting killed by an unseen monster while skiing alone.

Jaws: The authorities investigating the disappearance of the first victim find only partial remains, the audience seeing only a bloody arm lying on the beach.

Snowbeast: The authorities investigating the disappearance of the first victim find only partial remains, a bloody arm lying in the snow.

Jaws: The figure of authority at the beach, Mayor Larry Vaughn, denies the seriousness of the situation, so as not to cause a panic before the town's Fourth of July festivities.

Snowbeast: The figure of authority at the ski lodge, owner Carrie Rill, denies the seriousness of the situation so as not to cause a panic before the lodge's Winter Carnival.

Jaws: Fishermen catch a shark, mistakenly thinking its the one that has been doing all the killing. Protagonists Matt Hooper and Martin Brody, confident the wrong shark has been caught, want to cut it open and examine its stomach, but are denied permission.

Snowbeast: Local authorities shoot a bear, mistakenly thinking it responsible for the killings. Protagonists Gar and Ellen Seberg, confident the wrong animal has been killed, want to cut it open and examine its stomach, but are denied permission.

Jaws: The killer shark disrupts the Fourth of July celebration, causing a panic on the beach in which children and old people are stampeded.

Snowbeast: The killer yeti disrupts the Winter Carnival celebration, causing a panic in the lodge in which children and old people are stampeded.

Jaws: Determined to kill the shark, our three leads head out in a small boat to its territory, hoping to lure it out of hiding. The shark eventually severely damages the boat, stranding them.

Snowbeast: Determined to kill the yeti, our three leads head out in a small RV to its territory, hoping to lure it out of hiding. The yeti eventually severely damages the RV, stranding them.

Jaws: Forced to work around a temperamental mechanical shark that didn't often perform as expected, director Steven Spielberg used skillfully staged POV shots to imply the presence of the shark without having to actually show it.

Snowbeast: Forced to work around a mediocre yeti costume that apparently wouldn't hold up to close scrutiny, director Herb Wallerstein used POV shots to imply the presence of the yeti without having to actually show it. HOWEVER... unlike in Jaws, Snowbeast relies so heavily on these shaky-cam POV shots, you start to wonder if the yeti costume got lost in mid-production.


Here are some more fondly remembered snowbeasts...

Jaws 3-D Cards (Topps, 1983)

I previously posted about the 1980s resurgence of 3-D movies, which can be partially blamed for the existence of 1983's Jaws 3-D.

This third installment of the Jaws "franchise" casts Dennis Quaid as the now grown son of our favorite Amity Island police chief Martin Brody, but otherwise all ties are cut with the first two films as yet another shark arrives from out of nowhere to terrorize mankind, this time at a futuristic imagining of a new Sea World aquatic park in Florida.

I believe Jaws 3-D holds the distinction of being the first (and possibly only) film to show a man being eaten alive by a shark from inside the shark's mouth, in 3-D or otherwise. There was also plenty of diving poles, oars, spearguns, seaweed and fish debris being poked in your face. If you couldn't get enough of that in the theater, you could bring the experience home with you via Topps Jaws 3-D Cards & Bubble Gum. Well, sort of.

While the film was presented in full-color 3-D viewed through polarized glasses, the cards present standard (2-D) color stills on one side, and red/blue 3-D comic-book style renderings on the other. The box art promises a "3-D Viewer in Every Pack!" How is this possible? Because they're REALLY small!

Whoever selected the stills for the front of the cards made some baffling choices. Sure, there are a few cards depicting the shark in moments of excitement...

But the bulk of the set is taken up by decidedly dull entries like this...

...or this...

I don't care if it is Lou Gosset Jr.--was anyone really clamoring for a souvenir photo of the "powerful, serious-minded" Chief Executive of Sea World?

In contrast, its mostly all action on the 3-D side, with captions like "Blasted By A Grenade!", "Bloody Remains!", and "Speargun Assault!". Whip out that spare set of 3-D glasses you have stashed under your wireless router and take a look for yourself.

National Geographic, Vol. 133, No.2, February 1968 (the Jaws issue)

Even if you were not one of those families like mine who received the National Geographic magazine in the mail every month, you might still get a twinge of deja vu should you happen to flip through the February 1968 issue.

That's because pages of this issue were prominently featured in a little film you may have heard of.... Jaws. In the scene where Chief Brody is flipping through the pages of a book about sharks to educate himself (and the audience) on the history and biology of the 25-foot menace that has invaded his beach-front home...

...we are actually seeing the pages of several different books cleverly edited together to appear as if belonging to a single volume. Many of the pages viewed are from the National Geographic article Sharks: Wolves of the Sea (Nathanial T. Kenney).

Pgs.230-231, diagram by William H. Bond, Geographic Art Division. This graphic efficiently informs the audience that sharks are attracted to splashing sounds.

Pg.251, photo of a shark biting down on an aluminum rod used to measure bite strength in tons. The picture establishes the fact that sharks will bite down on large, heavy, metalic objects (making the climax, which requires our villianous great white to bite onto a scuba tank, a little more...uh, palatable and believable for the audience than it might otherwise have been.)

Pgs.242-243, a diver swims along a 9-foot grey nurse shark in an Australian aquarium.

Pgs.228-229, a 12-foot Australian great white. The audience hasn't seen much of the actual shark yet at this point in the film, and this is a very cost-effective way of planting in our mind what is supposed to be lurking out there in the murky depths.

Pgs.246-247, a shark chomps "ham-sized" chunks of flesh out of a dead porpoise.

Pg.249, an Australian shark tower. This photo reminds the audience that the problem of shark attacks is neither unique or rare. This threat is real.

Pgs.238-239, this painting by Paule Calle recreates an actual incident of a 12-foot shark attacking a lobstermen's boat off Canada's Cape Breton Island in 1953. It also let's the audience know that a boat is no safe-haven from a hungry shark.

Other pages from this scene, among them graphic shark-attack injuries and the fossilized jaws of prehistoric megalodon, come from various other books: Sharks and Rays (Spencer Wilkie Tinker, 1973); The Shark: Splendid Savage of the Sea (Jacques-Yves Cousteau, 1970); Sportfishing for Sharks (Frank Mundus, 1971); About Sharks and Shark Attacks (David H. Davies, 1964); and Dangerous Marine Animals (Bruce W. Haulstead, 1959).

This bibliography comes from the excellent and highly recommended 2013 documentary Inside Jaws (created by Jamie Benning, one of a series of informative and entertaining "filmumentaries").